It’s okay to be like a child with God.
One thing that brings me to this place more than anything is sickness. I used to be so aware of germs that my friends would even call me a ‘germ-a-phobe’. But, I’ve learned that there are sicknesses that aren’t caused by germs. When I experienced hoarseness in my voice for a long period of time, it was so unusual. I had it checked by the doctor. He said everything looked fine, but the problem persisted. I’m singing all the time, as you know, so this wasn’t good. We can’t always have immediate answers when it comes to sickness we live with. When this happened to my voice, I resolved to find an answer.
I recently read a story in the book of Daniel where King Nebuchadnezzar searches for wise men to tell him the meaning of his dream. He demands that they tell him what his dream was first. After many attempts, no one could do this! Then a guy named Daniel shows up, and God reveals the dream and it’s interpretation. King Nebuchadnezzar declares in Daniel 2:47, “Surely your God is the God of gods and the Lord of kings and a revealer of mysteries…”
When I kept doing Google searches and sorting through possible causes for my persistent hoarseness, it felt like I was hitting a dead end, over and over. It’s so natural to worry, but I kept reminding myself that my God is the revealer of mysteries. Psalm 18 has moved me to see how powerful my God is:
“In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears….
The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook…
He parted the heavens and came down He mounted the cherubim and flew; he soared on the wings of the wind…
Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced, with hailstones and bolts of lightning. The Lord thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded. He shot his arrows and scattered the enemy, with great bolts of lightning he routed them…
He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.”
This God, who delights in you, and me, is our refuge and Deliverer. We can count on him every day, no matter what kind of distress we wade through.
I remember coming to the week of recording our last album and I was hit with sickness. Singing “By Faith” in that recording booth never felt more real as I sang the words, ‘Your strength is enough for me, Your grace is all I’ll ever need’, knowing I could have been stronger for the recording days, but God was going to make up for that. This is grace!